Letter from God...
enjoyed this version of the "letter from God"...
rather than taking sides and getting stressed :-)
http://www.bio.net/bionet/mm/plant-ed/1999-August/004911.html
From: God
Re: Your decision to eliminate the teaching of
evolution as science.
Thank you for your support. Much obliged.
Now, go forth and multiply. Beget many children.
And yea, your children shall beget children.
And their children shall beget children, and their
children's children after them. And in time the
genes that have made you such pinheads will be
eliminated through natural selection. Because that
is how it works.
Listen, I love all my creatures equally, and gave
each his own special qualities to help him on Earth.
The horse I gave great strength. The antelope I
gave great grace and speed. The dung beetle I gave
great stupidity, so he doesn't realize he is a
dung beetle. Man I gave a brain. Use it, okay?
I admit I am not perfect. I've made errors.
(Armpit hair--what was I thinking?) But do you
Kansans seriously believe that I dropped
half-a-billion-year-old trilobite skeletons
all over my great green Earth by mistake?
What, I had a few lying around some previous
creation in the Andromeda galaxy, and they
fell through a hole in my pocket?
You were supposed to find them. And once you
found them, you were supposed to draw the
appropriate, intelligent conclusions.
That's what I made you for. To think.
The folks who wrote the Bible were smart
and good people. Mostly, they got it right.
But there were glitches. Imprecisions. For
one thing, they said that Adam and Eve begat
Cain and Abel, and then Cain begat Enoch.
How was that supposed to have happened?
They left out Tiffany entirely!
Well, they also were a little off on certain
elements of timing and sequence. So what?
You guys were supposed to figure it all
out for yourselves, anyway. When you
stumble over the truth, you are not
supposed to pick yourself up, dust yourself
off and proceed on as though nothing had
happened. If you find a dinosaur's toe,
you're not supposed to look for reasons
to call it a croissant. You're not big,
drooling idiots. For that, I made dogs.
Why do you think there are no fossilized
human toes dating from a hundred million
years ago? Think about it.
It's okay if you think. In fact, I prefer
it. That's why I like Charlie Darwin.
He was always a thinker. Still is. He and
I chat frequently.
I know a lot of people figure that if man
evolved from other organisms, it means
I don't exist. I have to admit this is a
reasonable assumption and a valid line of
thought. I am in favor of thought. I
encourage you to pursue this concept with
an open mind, and see where it leads you.
That's all I have to say right now, except
that I'm really cheesed off at laugh tracks
on sitcoms, and the NRA, and people who make
simple declarative sentences sound like
questions?
Oh, wait. There's one more thing.
Did you read in the newspapers yesterday how
scientists in Australia dug up some rocks and
found fossilized remains of life dating back further
than ever before? Primitive, multicelled
[actually single-celled, but we'll forgive ya - PJS]
animals on Earth nearly 3 billion years ago, when
the planet was nothing but roiling muck and ice
and fire. And inside those cells was . . . DNA.
Incredibly complex strands of chemicals, laced
together in a scheme so sophisticated no one yet
understands exactly how it works.
I wonder who could have thought of something like
that, back then.
Just something to gnaw on!
Keep in touch...
