Some funny quotes...

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets - Dave Edison

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with - Marty Feldman

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash - Jerry Seinfeld

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you - Rita Mae Brown

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas? - Jean Kerr

Where there's a will... I want to be in it - Anonymous